Morning Note

Our thoughts are with Senator Chris Van Hollen. 

Friday’s release of illegal immigrant and suspected human trafficker Kilmar Abrego Garcia meant the lawmaker could finally reunite with his favorite lunch date. At long last, he’d once again be able to stare into the criminal’s eyes and speak directly to his soul. The star-crossed couple has already enjoyed a post-liberation virtual meeting, and we’re sure an in-person rendezvous is in the cards.

Tragically, their love story may soon face a hiccup. The Department of Homeland Security notified Garcia’s lawyers on Friday that ICE may deport him to Uganda. The legal team views the threat as a tactic to “coerce” their client to accept a plea deal in his case.

Everyone knows long-distance relationships can be challenging, but thankfully for Van Hollen, they’ve never been more doable. FaceTime works worldwide, and we’re sure he’d be able to brainstorm plenty of excuses to use taxpayer dollars to fund trips to East Africa. Then sparks will continue to fly.

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