Morning Note

The legend of Big Balls is growing.

​​DOGE staffer Edward Coristine, aptly nicknamed “Big Balls,” heroically stepped in to prevent an attempted unarmed carjacking and assault in Washington, D.C., but suffered a beating from a group of criminal teens. 

According to a report from the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department, the assault on Coristine occurred around 3 a.m. on Sunday while he was near his vehicle with a female companion. Coristine noticed the assailants approaching and, out of concern for his companion's safety, pushed her into the vehicle before confronting the suspects himself. 

The confrontation ended when an MPD cruiser arrived on the scene, causing the suspects to flee. Police arrested two individuals at the scene, while Coristine required medical attention from DC Fire and EMS for injuries sustained during the attack.

The suspects, both 15-year-olds from Hyattsville, Maryland, face charges of unarmed carjacking. 

In response to the attack, President Trump threatened a federal takeover of the nation’s capital to rein in crime.

Big Balls is a hero for quickly thinking on his feet, saving his female companion from a terrible fate, and bearing the brunt of a savage beating. On Sunday, the 19-year-old earned the right to carry the heavy burden of such a powerful nickname. We wish him a speedy recovery.

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